The One Time A Certain Prussian Bested a Certain Russian
by NekoVengers
Summary: It's not stalking! Ivan loves Ludwig, Gilbert should be less violent! Stalker!Russia x Unsuspecting!Germany, and Savior!Gilbert. Oneshot, minor yaoi. Not really dramatic.


Ludwig was _so _cute when he slept. There was no evidence of the regimented man who usually inhabited this body, but the light crease in his brow; And no matter how amusing the usual Germany is, he crossed into this country, clambered up the impossibly tall building unscathed, and pried open the window with his pipe, to see the boyish look on the blond's sleeping face. Reaching out, he ran a long callused finger down the crease. Ludwig's brows shifted in confusion, but with more gentle nudges from the Russian, became lax.

_So_ cute.

In fact, Germany's entire body was cute, from the sculpted chest hastily covered by the black tank, to the blanket out-lined legs that were crossed in a REM sleep fashion. This deserved some more careful observation.

Using his abdominals, Russia brought himself back up to the panels on the ceiling, crawling back into it, and putting the panel he had moved to hang over Ludwig's face, back into place. Then he moved backward a couple awkward lopes to a different square ceiling piece, and gingerly removed it from it's original section to gain a larger view of the German's sleeping body. '_Someone should make a sport out of this...' _he though wittily.

Maybe he had thought that aloud, or maybe the movement of the panels had caused some noise -he himself was always silent, ask anyone!- at least enough noise to wake Germany. The blond started to stir.

"Mmph, _bruder_, you make breakfast..." He mumbled sleepily. Although he wasn't Gilbert -thank god- he wouldn't mind breakfast related activities with Germany. Whip cream sounded nice, he always liked that on his pancakes, if he was lucky the german might enjoy _being_ his pancakes! So it was with that though in mind, when Ludwig awoke form his deeper slumber, -eyes widening in surprise, and a perfect "oh" formed by his lips- that Ivan pounced on his latest pet project.

"Priviet Lyubov!" Cried the Russian cheerily. Covering Germany's soon to be screaming mouth with a large hand he continued, "I missed you! My room was on the bottom floor, and much to far away, so I decided to come watch you! It is my very favorite pass time!"

Ludwig's faced morphed into a look of complete incredulity after receiving such..._interesting_, information. Finally, he self preservation instincts kicked in and he thrashed his head violently against the hand on his mouth, and his body repeated the action to enforce it more powerfully.

Not that squirming was going to hinder the goliath of a man _admiring_ him in the slightest. In reaction, the Russian straddled his german counterpart, and grabbing both wrists, pinned the man's strong arms above his head. Eventually, Ludwig managed to remove the hand on his mouth -although both of them knew it was because Russia _wanted_ to- and cough out,

"What the hell are you _doing_ here Mr. Braginsky?!" Ivan looked at him curiously. 'Mr. Braginsky' huh? That simply wouldn't do. Shifting so that more weight was applied to the blond's torso, the amethyst eyes male arched over his pray, and in turn, bring their faces mere inches apart. He smiled.

"Ah Ludwig, don't call me Mr. Braginsky, it's too formal! We are friends da?" He spoke this with a passionate purple aurora, which firmly let Germany know that he had no choice in the nature of their relationship, "And we are in your bedroom! *sigh* People normally call each other by their first names in bed da!?"

Russia spoke this loosely, but it really wasn't a loose term.

As the dominant male continued his chattering _-and I almost fell off on the way up!-_ Germany felt his ears burn. Surely he had never consciously, or consensually, been in this sort of compromising position, if he let things continue, this would definitely take a turn for the worst. He struggled again, and with all his courage, found it in him to interrupt the Russian.

"Mr. Bra- Ivan. I request that you leave my living quarters immediately! I have not given you permission to enter my chambers at this unholy hour, and do not intend to do so any day...! Furthermore-" Oh god. The German stopped dead. Craning his neck far away as possible from the other, he gulped. Russia had _that_ look in his eye.

The look he got when he was on the verge of conquering...new territory, or when German was caught saying some sort of innuendo when he hadn't meant to, or when- now. This moment. A glare like this had to have been lust.

Shit.

Double shit.

Struggling harder, the German yelped when cold hands, reminiscent of his time spent in the north, ran up under his shirt. Slowly, Ivan's head made it's decent upon Ludwig's virgin alabaster neck, and relishing in it's softness, the older country's lips pressed against it and licked a stripe up to Germany's jaw. The man gasped.

"Iva- no wait! Ivan stop this instantly-" What an unpleasant sound! He had better remedy such useless words, the blond was his, such delusions of independence were laughable. So, he kissed him, claiming his mouth throughly, Russia pressed harder into the intense make out session and forced Germany to be quiet.

However, a little German was having a little heart attack, and he pondered his future as "One with Russia" and silently prayed for an angel to save him. The internal invocations only all the more increasing when Ivan pulled away and released Ludwig's hands to remove his shirt.

Finally, he was rescued, not by an angel, but from his own brother...Prussia would have to do.

"Get off mein bruderlein..." He commanded. Sighing, Russia groaned.

"Prussiya please!" Huffing he turned to acknowledge the annoying albino, -really he always came in at the _worst_ of times. "I am trying to pleasure your bro-"

The one time a certain Prussian bested and certain Russian, was in a hotel room, standing over his brother's bed, shotgun in hand. Ivan paled. Removing himself fully from the German, he inched toward the window.

"Fucking Frozen Frenchman! You'll regret this when I've blown your face over down town! Like the awesome big brother I am...Protecting my baby brother's innocence!" Shouted the Prussian -in the dead of night mind you!- Ludwig rolled his eyes.

Russia took the chance to make his escape through the window, all but screeching when the gun went off next to his foot, just missing the window ledge, but nicking the bottom of his shoe.

"That's right you coward run! And don't ever come back!" Taking aim, He was just about to shoot him off the side of the building when he felt a gentle touch to his arm, barely able to turn before the pacifist side of his brother quelled his anger.

"That's enough...I don't want anyone to get hurt! The hotel will probably kick us out because of the noise..." Ludwig sighed.

"Whatever, West. I don't care about the hotel...This'd better scare off the frozen pervert, I'm tired of saving your ass!" Huffed Gilbert, though the grin was clear on his face "As much as I like Russian target practice, this is the third time this month..."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: For your information, Gilbert didn't save Ludwig the other two times *waggles eyebrows***


End file.
